Nonverbal dating

At the same time, you’re less likely to have success when dealing with dating/hook-up apps like Grindr or Tinder. Speaking of the offline dating mindset: you’re going to have to accept that online dating is even more of a numbers game than dating in IRL or meatspace or whatever the cool kids are calling “the world” these days.

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The first step to overcoming your frustration with online dating is to adjust your mindset and expectations accordingly.

Online dating takes a different attitude and skill-set than, say, making cold approaches at a bar or flirting with someone you met at a house party.

You have to treat your dating profile as an advertisement; you are, after all, selling yourself to others.

This means that you have to consider your market, what you’re looking for and what makes you, specifically, attractive to others.

Even for people like me who the whole dance and the chase and the thrill of the new, there will be points when you really just want to take a step back from it for a while and catch your breath and let your ego recover from the beatings that tend to come with it. But just as when you’re trying to meet your future snugglebunny the old-fashioned way, it’s important to understand the potential headaches that come with those marathon OKCupid sessions.

Many of the things that drive people away from online dating can be headed off at the pass with some preparation.

You also have to consider where and how to present your best self.

If you’re the sort of person who’s clever and witty, then you want to look more towards a site like OKCupid that lets you display your humor like the tail of an Oscar Wilde-loving peacock.

When we meet somebody in person, we have hundreds of thousands of verbal and non-verbal clues to give us an intuitive grasp of who we’re talking to and whether or not we’re into them long before we go up and introduce ourselves.

Everything from how they stand to how they talk, who they talk to, how they act around their friends, how they smell, even the pitch and timbre of their voice indicate whether or not we’re likely to have an initial attraction to them that would prompt us to make that all-important first approach.

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