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They are emotionally distanced, disinterested and less prepared to invest in the relationship.Their every day engagement declines and they spend more and more hours online and have decreasing energy and time for their partner and their obligations at home.When something at home doesn’t work as expected only very few can resist the temptation to look for old infatuations or the first love. An indication that this estimated number appears to be growing in leaps and bounds is demonstrated by the fact that it has already been the cause for the development of a lucrative business model: We are already aware of specialized computer companies earning their keep at cracking the password of a Facebook- (or other social network) account! Cyber affairs are a frequently underrated threat to relationships – the standard excuse of those caught red handed is hapless John’s already quoted as: “Nothing really happened! Although it may be correct that no real (physical) cheating took place; after everything is said and done, a virtual betrayal is even more damaging to the partnership.
In 2003 an Australian study revealed that an on-line affair affects the partner more deeply than watching porn.
The realization that one’s own partner desires another person more than oneself triggers intense insecurity.
Instead having to deal with the dry reality of my relationship and the potentially irritating conflicts I seek refuge in a fantasy world where I have maximal control over the (prevailing) events. A clever Internet-operators as for instance Yahoo already even offer platforms especially targeting married folks who are looking for a little excitement on the side (for instance marriedandflirtingchat.com).
Obviously, that represents a high potential for addiction! or maybe even assuming an entirely new virtual identity and with it do everything that one would have never dared do in real life? At first blush these “little escapades” leaving every-day-life and the real partnership behind may appear to be harmless, but they are by no means that.
Back then Keenan stated to the newspaper “Daily Telegraph” “The most frequent cause appears to be people inappropriately chatting about sex with folks with whom they should rather not do that.” Other countries are following.
2011 according to a leading Austrian attorney: “In Austria Facebook and the like already play a role in every 10th divorce – and that means: of 1.900 divorces annually. ” represents the first step into the, at first virtual imagined and frequently also amorous escapade later converted to reality.Porn sites are not today’s sole web sites interfering with real relationships.Other online-overtures are also busy creating the illusion of a maximal availability of never-ending supplies of alternative partners and in that way secretly, clandestinely and through the back door undermine actual relationships.In the real world the escapade leaves no traces – thus the danger of being found out is considerably reduced.Just as with the consumption of porn it is not even necessary to leave home in order to virtually stray.For our subject the third aspect is of particular interest: Studies have shown that it is not primarily sexual gratification the makes a cyber affair irresistible for the user.Rather, the virtual affair primarily creates a high, the emotional and mental opportunity to escape from reality – almost comparable to a drug induced high.A tempting opportunity to thumb one’s nose at every day’s stress.My husband is more interested in the super bowl than in me and has once again forgotten to bring the soda along?Why not register at just for fun, just to see what my chances are . We already met the first two – anonymity and convenience on the subject online-pornography.The user also lives protected by a virtual identity, never must reveal him/herself, when things start to get uncomfortable, his dreams, desires can “disappear” with a click.