I don't have time to get into porn and violence against women or the split of domestic duties or the gender pay gap.
I don't have time to get into porn and violence against women or the split of domestic duties or the gender pay gap.But I believe that as men, it's time we start to see past our privilege and recognize that we are not just part of the problem. The glass ceiling exists because we put it there, and if we want to be a part of the solution, then words are no longer enough.Tags: groupdatingservice comchristian single dating single parent datingSex chat website for chatingdifference between modern and traditional datingadvice for dating women with childrenFree chat with escortsin invalidating
I loved this experience, because it showed me that transformation is possible, even over direct messages. But if I talk about how much I love my wife or my daughter or my 10-day-old son, how I believe that marriage is challenging but beautiful, or how as a man I struggle with body dysmorphia, or if I promote gender equality, then only the women show up. I challenge you to see if you can use the same qualities that you feel make you a man to go deeper into yourself. Are you confident enough to listen to the women in your life? To hold their anguish and actually believe them, even if what they're saying is against you?
So I wanted to figure out how I could reach more men, but of course none of them were following me. And then, out of the blue, for the first time in my entire career, a male fitness magazine called me, and they said they wanted to honor me as one of their game-changers. Your strength, your bravery, your toughness: Can we redefine what those mean and use them to explore our hearts? And will you be man enough to stand up to other men when you hear "locker room talk," when you hear stories of sexual harassment?
But every time I got one of these roles, I was surprised, because most of the men I play ooze machismo, charisma and power, and when I look in the mirror, that's just not how I see myself.
But it was how Hollywood saw me, and over time, I noticed a parallel between the roles I would play as a man both on-screen and off.
Like my challenging workouts, my meal plans, my journey to heal my body after an injury. When you hear your boys talking about grabbing ass or getting her drunk, will you actually stand up and do something so that one day we don't have to live in a world where a woman has to risk everything and come forward to say the words "me too? I've had to take a real, honest look at the ways that I've unconsciously been hurting the women in my life, and it's ugly.
My wife told me that I had been acting in a certain way that hurt her and not correcting it.As a boy, all I wanted was to be accepted and liked by the other boys, but that acceptance meant I had to acquire this almost disgusted view of the feminine, and since we were told that feminine is the opposite of masculine, I either had to reject embodying any of these qualities or face rejection myself. But, sorry, Dad, as a kid I resented him for it, because I blamed him for making me soft, which wasn't welcomed in the small town in Oregon that we had moved to. See, my dad wasn't traditionally masculine, so he didn't teach me how to use my hands.He didn't teach me how to hunt, how to fight, you know, man stuff.But it's all from a certain demographic: women. Now, afterwards, I was scrolling through some of the comments, and I noticed that one of my female fans had tagged her boyfriend in the picture, and her boyfriend responded by saying, "Please stop tagging me in gay shit. I said, very politely, that I was just curious, because I'm on an exploration of masculinity, and I wanted to know why my love for my wife qualified as gay shit. He told me how, growing up, public displays of affection were looked down on. See, publicly, he was just playing his role, rejecting the feminine, right? And for many of us, myself included, our identities are wrapped up in whether or not at the end of the day we feel like we're man enough.He told me that he was wrestling and struggling with his ego, and how much he loved his girlfriend and how thankful he was for her patience. This time he sent me a photo of him on one knee proposing. But secretly he was waiting for permission to express himself, to be seen, to be heard, and all he needed was another man holding him accountable and creating a safe space for him to feel, and the transformation was instant. It's totally cool for men to follow me when I talk about guy stuff and I conform to gender norms. But I've got a challenge for all the guys, because men love challenges. Are you strong enough to be sensitive, to cry whether you are hurting or you're happy, even if it makes you look weak?If it's about work or sports or politics or women, we have no problem sharing our opinions, but if it's about our insecurities or our struggles, our fear of failure, then it's almost like we become paralyzed. So some of the ways that I have been practicing breaking free of this behavior are by creating experiences that force me to be vulnerable.So if there's something I'm experiencing shame around in my life, I practice diving straight into it, no matter how scary it is — and sometimes, even publicly.I've been pretending to be a man that I'm not my entire life.I've been pretending to be strong when I felt weak, confident when I felt insecure and tough when really I was hurting. But I'm just a guy that woke up after 30 years and realized that I was living in a state of conflict, conflict with who I feel I am in my core and conflict with who the world tells me as a man I should be.It had everything to do with me and my longing to be accepted and to play a role that was never meant for me.So while my dad may have not taught me how to use my hands, he did teach me how to use my heart, and to me that makes him more a man than anything.