If your partner doesn't have these beliefs and values, they will be less affected by your efforts, but they still may react positively because of the fact that it was a sign of caring. People who care about others, treat others well, and have good interpersonal skills will generally be more successful with others than people who don't.
People who are too aggressive, dominating, or distancing or people who are too passive, submissive, or dependent may generally have problems forming close relationships.
If you are also concerned about fear of rejection and lack of self-confidence, read my short self-help manual, Beyond Fear of Rejection and Loneliness to Self-Confidence at
Levels of intimacy vary from no contact strangers to friends or lovers who are very similar in their most important-innermost parts of themselves, care greatly about each other; communicate in a completely free, open, and honest manner; are willing to make significant efforts or sacrifices for each other, and are in a long-term committed relationship.
People who are not reliable, trustworthy, honest also will have problems forming close, lasting relationships; as will people who have personal problems with addictions or other habits that seriously interfere with relationships. One theory of attachment or love states that one's feeling of attachment to another is related to the intensity and number of positive contacts divided by the number of negative contacts (times the number of contacts).
Before you can have a happy, close and long-lasting relationship with another person, you must first develop yourself until you can meet the minimal standards of what a potential partner (like the one you want) would need from you. This theory may be an oversimplification, but think about it for a minute.
* More on Introductions * How To Be An Interesting Conversationalist: The Concept of Free Information * Establish Conversational Balance, Equality, and Intimacy * How personal/intimate is the topic * Establish Trust: Trust and Responsible Behavior Begets Trust * Are You Compatible Giving and Receiving Basic Information * Variables Affecting the Success of Any Relationship * Develop (And Practice) a Brief Meeting People Strategy * Asking Questions Effectively * Conversational Styles * Characteristics of intimate conversations * Drawing Your Partners Feelings Out * Romantic Conversations * Controversial Topics and Intimacy * Continuing A Successful Conversation: Develop your Internal Observer * Revealing Potentially Embarrassing Information * What If You Want to Date Someone Who Has a Lot More Experience than You * What To Do When You Can’t Think of Anything To Talk About * How to Win Friends, Influence People, and be Loved By Women: Empathetic Listening Skills * Empathetic Listening Skills as Conversation Generators * Non-Verbal Communication: Using Body Language to Build Closeness * The Importance of Physical Attractiveness * Problems With Your Physical Appearance * Physical Illnesses, Disability, or Similar Problems * Issues Related To Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) * Mild to Moderate Psychological Problems * Problems That Almost Always Destroy Relationships * The pace of the relationship.
What if you want to go slowly * What if one partner has a performance anxiety problem with sex When Jerry first came in for counseling, he was so shy that he couldn't even look at me and could only give one-line answers to questions.
Part of that romantic attractiveness dimension is physiological and a greater part is cultural and psychological.
For example, many people share beliefs that flowers, cards, "romantic" music or movies, lighting, and romantic talk are "romantic." Those beliefs cause a romantic reaction in the believer when any of those stimuli are present under the right conditions.