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If you see schoolwork start to suffer and friendships fall by the wayside, it is reasonable to restrict the number of times Romeo and Juliet can rendezvous during the school week.
When he’s ready to socialize, he’ll do so without any prompting. “My first year in college, I fell madly in love with this girl named Elyse. I couldn’t imagine ever being with anyone else, and I thought she felt the same way about me. I used to spy on her around campus; some nights I’d stand outside her dorm just to see if she walked in the front door with anybody.
“One day, out of the blue, she told me that our relationship was getting too serious, and that she wanted to date other people. My friends couldn’t stand to be around me, and I don’t blame them!
But it will, and probably sooner than you think.” Do not use this opportunity to reveal how you never liked the newly insignificant significant other in the first place.
Your son may be venting his rage at the girl who dumped him, but don’t be fooled. ” (or words to that effect) essentially implies that she does not have a right to her emotions.
While there may be the occasional romantic twosome among the members, the majority are unattached.
If anything, youngsters in the group spend as much time interacting with their same-sex friends as they do with members of the opposite sex. Ron Eagar, a pediatrician at Denver Health Medical Center, views group dating as a healthy way for adolescents to ease into the dating pool rather than dive in.“The number-one benefit is safety,” says the father of two grown children.Going out in mixed groups also gives boys and girls an opportunity to just enjoy one another’s company, without the awkwardness and sexual tension that can intrude upon a one-to-one date. Many of us feel that way when we imagine our son or daughter disappearing into the night arm in arm with a young lady or a young man. Eagar advises not allowing single dating before age sixteen.They march off en masse to the mall or to the movies, or join a gang tossing a Frisbee on the beach.Don’t confuse group dating with double-dating or triple-dating.At what age are children old enough to date “solo”? “There’s an enormous difference between a fourteen- or fifteen-year- old and a sixteen- or seventeen-year-old in terms of life experience,” he says. While parent-teen conversations must encompass the hormones, hydraulics and other biological aspects of love and attraction, equal time should be devoted to thoughtful discussions about love as the most powerful and heartfelt of all human emotions.You might add or subtract a year depending on how mature and responsible your youngster is. Love is a subject of unending fascination for adolescents.Topping their list of questions is, “How do you know when you’re in love with somebody?” They are also genuinely curious about their parents’ courtship and marriage (“Mom, did you fall in love with Dad at first sight?”) and, if applicable, divorce (“Dad, how can two people love each other for years and years, then stop being in love? Having an imperfect romantic résumé yourself does not disqualify you from initiating this conversation.You might say, “I haven’t always made the wisest decisions when it comes to love, but I’ve promised myself that the next time I become involved with someone special, I won’t settle for anything less than a healthy, honest relationship.