Everything went smoothly—until they met in person for a cup of coffee.They had many things in common and talked for about 45 minutes.In those tests, male participants were asked to evaluate their sense of masculinity in the situations in which they had been outsmarted or outperformed in front of a woman who might have been a potential romantic interest.
Being a woman who is too pretty or too smart has advantages when it comes to small gains (free drinks, better treatment, etc) but major disadvantages when it comes to finding long term partners and maintaining friendships.
In that respect it is actually good riddance that men who are not confident enough to go for the really great women, focus on average women.
Do they take drugs or drink to kill their brain cells, do they refuse to read, write, go to school, or engage in any behaviors that will reduce their own IQ?
Do they play stupid or ignorant long enough to bag the ultimate prize - a husband - then turn their smarts back on?
Fortunately, of course, there are also men and women who do fit the pattern discovered in the research.
I have seen and known many men who are close to, romantically attracted to, and in long-term, successful marriages with women who outperform them—and whom they also consider smarter than themselves. After a lot of dates, a few duds, and a period of unsuccessful meet-ups, she met and fell in love with a man who admires and is attracted to her as a whole package—intelligence and all.Or he may have difficulty with intimacy or some other issue she could have no way of knowing about. She wanted to know if she had done something to drive him away.As she went over their conversation in her mind, she realized there was one thing that stood out—though she did not want to believe it.Afterward, test “scores” were distributed, and in the final moments, the young men were asked by testers if they found the young woman attractive and would be interested in dating her?In this study, men who believed themselves to have been to be attracted by women who they think are smarter or more competent at intellectual tasks than they are, but only if the women are at a psychological and physical distance from them.A very smart woman needs a man who can see her value and understands how being with her makes him look better.-----“if you want to find a husband, don’t be too smart.” How, exactly, does a person make themselves "unsmart"?“He knew what I did for a living, because I listed it on my profile.But he made a comment about something in my field, and I responded with some information from a research paper I had just published,” she told me.Thus, they suggest, when a woman is nearby, some men may actually feel her competence as a threat to their masculinity, whereas this is not the case when a woman is distant. Have you, like me, seen them borne out in some situations?It does seem to be one possible (albeit not the only) explanation for John’s behavior after meeting Sara in person.