I am worried that he's not stable enough, though, and that the relationship won't stand a chance until he's really back on his feet (including finding a new job). I get the time has passed but your situation is interesting. One year sobriety in my book is strongly recommended. I mentioned this one evening as we were discussion his issues and recovery.
If an addict cannot handle being sober for one year, I would fear for your physical safety and your sanity if you were dating him as caring for someone who continues to relapse is exhausting. I said to him that I didn't mind going through it as I came out of it as a stronger person. I recently met someone and it was going quite well.
The thing with me and my past partner two years ago now was that he would make all these promises, assure me he would take his medication and get help and do better, but I never saw him making a genuine effort to get clean, at least while we were together. He now said he cannot date me as its part of his recovery program and I am on medication. I was honest about my past and shared I would have 9 years of recovery in January.
If he had even gone to al anon meetings and tried hard with their programme, I would have stayed with him. We had only been on four casual dates so I had not shared the exact details of my past because they are painful and personal.
It isn’t your job to safeguard their sobriety, and someone firmly grounded in recovery won’t expect you to, but as a member of their support network you’ll need to encourage them to prioritize their recovery, sometimes even over you.
You also need to assess how much baggage you can handle. They may have accrued debts, a criminal record or legal problems, or irrevocably damaged key relationships in their lives that make your interactions with their family and friends tenuous.If you believe addiction is a sign of weakness or a character flaw, dating a recovering addict probably isn’t for you.Sometimes if your alarm bells are ringing, there is good reason.After evaluating all of the pros and cons, the real question isn’t whether you should date a recovering addict, but whether the person has the qualities you want in a romantic partner.In the end, it’s a very personal decision that you have to make: Is dating a recovering addict a deal-breaker for you? My partner and I are both recovering addicts-- we've been together for years now.After dating one dud after another, you finally find someone who seems to have it all – thoughtful, witty, responsible – and good-looking to boot.Then they drop a bomb: “I used to be a drug addict.” They may as well have said, “I’m married.” But does one partner being in recovery automatically spell doom for a relationship?Sometimes Love Just Ain’t Enough Just as important as assessing the recovering addict’s status is understanding your own. Does addiction strike a nerve with you, perhaps because there’s an addict in your family?Although research has refuted outdated assumptions about addiction, surveys have shown that people judge addicts (even recovering ones) more harshly than people struggling with obesity, depression and even schizophrenia.I've seen more relationships fail, in the rooms, than succeed.But that doesn't mean it can't work-- as long as the partner has a good sense of self. I met someone who was addicted to marijuana and hashish, and also alcohol.