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At the heart of the problem of online “infidelity” is the fact that it is usually done in secret and without the partner’s knowledge – even with infrequent access this secrecy can reduce the intimacy between the couple and can be a first step on the road to bigger betrayals.

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Though it may be painful, the fact that you have started talking about issues is a good sign.

To continue with this process you may wish to seek marriage counselling ( relationshipsireland.com, accord.ie).

How much of a problem it is, depends on the degree and type of access and what it means in the context of the marriage.

There is a big difference between a person occasionally viewing pornography with the knowledge and even involvement of their partner to a full-blown betrayal and using adult websites to start affairs with other people.All you have to do is answer a couple of simple questions and you’re ready to go.Why get bogged down with inconvenient registration pages when you don’t have to?You could see this as a “wake-up call in your marriage to examine problems in the communication between the two of you and to address this.Of course your husband should not blame you and he must take responsibility for how he has hurt you with his online behaviour, but the two of you must take responsibility for improving the marriage.In addition, try to have at least one special evening a week when you get a baby-sitter when you can do some new things together. The biggest prize of a successful marriage is closeness and intimacy – which allow a couple to accept and support one another on a deep level.Such intimacy is built on communication and friendship and leads to deep affection and a satisfying sex life.There is a good chance of success for the two of you, if your husband accepts responsibility for what he has done and if the two of you are willing to work hard on improving your marriage.Take some time out together You can also take action at home to improve your marriage on a daily basis.For example you can prioritise a daily talking time with your husband when you share how each of you are doing.This should be time you have alone perhaps when the children are in bed and to make sure it is distraction free (with the computer and TV turned off).

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